the move is complete

but not without consequences. Saturday, I lost my cell phone. I went to buy a new one and had a car accident, that could have resulted in my death or someone else's if things had been different. I'm very lucky and took a new look at my life at my new home and how life should never be taken for granted. I saved a butterfly bush the next day, and that felt good. I'm just happy to be alive!

update

I'm so upset. my husband told me that he found out this morning that the former landlords will pave over the yard. it's his property and he can do what he wants, but I'm beside myself. I'm going to get what I can. but I'm sick to my stomach. there's nothing I can do.

the big move

is finalized this weekend. it's going to be freezing this weekend too. ugh. but, it will be over and we'll have a new start in a nice, big apartment and I will try not to dwell on the past. good thing I took tons of pictures of that garden, like these:

well

the garden is over. the landlords are just going to let it die, or chop it all down. I'm going to try and salvage what I can. I'm heartbroken. 4 years of work down the drain. he says it's the water bill, but why can't the new tenant pay the water bill if they want to have a garden? I don't understand why someone would want to destroy this treasure. but, all good things are fleeting I guess.

MOVING IS A BITCH!!!!

been moving stuff this weekend. it's ubelievable how much crap we have. we're moving as much of the small stuff over so the movers will just have furniture.
also, small apartments get dirty and nasty. I can't believe I've been living in so much filth.

a prayer for Licorice

Licorice is Charles' 13 year old cat. she's ill and last I heard she was at the vet having test done, so I don't know what happened last night. being the owner of a cat that is 18, I know how a pet can become like a child. I've had my cat for half my life and I would be in pieces if she got sick. I pray for Charles, Lindsey and Licorice. whatever the outcome, I hope the find comfort in the fact that Licorice was in their lives and gave them great joy to remember forever.

this isn't working

I came in to work trying to have a good attitude, but it just really bothers me that people are just not nice because of a work situation and inconsideration. I'm beginning to think this promotion is not all it's cracked up to be. I'm really unhappy right now and surrounded by people who are not my peers, not my age and don't care that I have more responsibility piled on top of me. I just feel like crying. I thought taking a day off and getting away from this situation, looking at it from outside, would make me feel better and I would come in feeling stronger. but I don't, I'm as weak as ever. this sucks. I want change. I want out of this place and a new job with new people. I hate getting old.

today is a depression day

with all of the good stuff that has happened to me lately, I feel blue and further away from having friends in this city/cities. no one from work has congratulated me on my promotion except my boss, and that kind of hurts. I don't know if they are jealous or just don't care. or, if they resent any assertiveness I have had to express. I think I need to treat myself or something. fuck everybody else.

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could really care less who wins. my team isn't in and hasn't been since we lost in the Superbowl to the Rams. my team is the TN Titans. anywho, if I had to pic, I would back Seattle 'cause they're the underdogs. I always back underdogs. I'm a Cubs fan too :/

Friday Morning Music

Fear - Live for the Record

Sleater-Kinney - All Hands On the Bad One


it's a winning combination!!!!!!