goodbye to 2005 - goodbye to New Orleans

of all the things that occurred in 2005, hurricane Katrina hit me the hardest. the desperation of the citizens of New Orleans, Jefferson Parish and all of those townships on the Gulf Coast marked me profoundly and still does. murder suicide rates are up. just take a look at this story:

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/3556966.html

Katrina evacuees facing eviction found dead in apparent double murder-suicide
Associated Press

GRAPEVINE — A family of three Hurricane Katrina evacuees facing eviction were found dead Friday in their North Texas apartment in what police said appears to be a double murder-suicide.

The discovery was made after police were called by the apartment complex to assist in the eviction, Grapevine police Sgt. Todd Dearing said. He didn't know how long the Louisiana family had not been paying rent.
Found with gunshot wounds were a 40-year-old man, a 37-year-old woman and a 14-year-old boy. Dearing said police found a shotgun believed to be the weapon.
Dearing said the scene inside the apartment "had the appearance" of a murder-suicide, but he couldn't say for certain.
He said police were searching for a 16-year-old daughter who they believe was living away from the family. Identifications were withheld pending notification of relatives.
Dearing said a resident informed the complex Thursday that they heard what sounded like three gunshots near the victims' apartment. Grapevine police were called to the apartment but left when no one answered the door.
"There was no reason for us to make entry," Dearing said. "They said it was their usual method of not answering the phones or door because they were being evicted."
Dearing said the family was supposed to be out of the apartment Tuesday, but the complex gave the family a few extra days. The family was receiving assistance from the Federal Emergency Management Agency, Dearing said.
Apartment management could not be reached for comment.
Dearing said the victims will be taken to the Tarrant County medical examiner for autopsies. - (END ARTICLE)


so incredibly tragic this is, and it's not the first or the last suicide resulting from this natural disaster and breakdown of the government to effectively help these people. I've given to charities and others have given so much to help victims of the hurricane, but what has the government really done. it's over 4 months now since it happened and people are being evicted from the places that they had to relocate to; how sad is this? it's just disgraceful in my opinion and I can only pray that things will somehow improve.

but also, the city of New Orleans will never, ever be the same. musicians who thrived in the spirit of the city have had to relocate, probably for good. this will create a new musical culture in the country, I believe. but what about this city. I've been there, as I've said before, and walking around and hearing different music, from jazz to blues and zydeco, could be heard on each and every block. it will take years and maybe decades to bring the city up to code to be protected by this kind of natural disaster. I know it won't be soon and I expect to hear more tragic stories like this.

but anyway, Happy New Year and God bless New Orleans! you'll be missed, the way you were.

window

some photos

clearly

she is not amused

Merry Christmas & Happy Hanukkah

happy holidays to all!!! what a strange year.

how do you spell Hanukkah anyways?

A message for Charles

dear Charles, if you ever look at this site any more, I just want to wish you and Lindsey a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I hope you will reconsider and come back to VC because people really do like you.

Love,

Jess

Strike Over - Strike Out!

well, it's over, and nothing has been gained by 3 days of hell. the MTA workers have not contract still, nothing was solved. a bunch of stress and heartache for nothing.

MTA/TWU strike day 3

it is day 3 of the strike and it sucks massively. jobs are being cancelled because of truck delivery restrictions and as a result of this, I and my husband are hit in the pocketbook, just like many other hard working people in this city. these are city employees that are striking and they are hurting everyone here that depend on them, and themselves. it's proving nothing except that the TWU leader IS A THUG and I hope he goes to jail for this.

"Fear New York's Alright If You Like Saxophones lyrics" - Fear

New York's alright, New York's alright,
New York's alright,if you like saxophones!
New York's alright if you wanna be pushed in front of the subway!
New York's alright if you like tuberculosis!
New York's alright if you like art and jazz!
New York's alright if you're a homosexual!

New york's alright, New York's alright,
New York's alright,if you like saxophones!
New York's alright if you like drunks in your doorway!
New York's alright if you wanna freeze to death!
New York's alright if you wanna get mugged or murdered!
New York's alright if you like saxophones!
New York's alright,New York's alright,
New York's alright, if you like saxophones!

MTA/TWU strike

I am not in favor of this strike at all. never mind the transporation inconvenience, but other people's income are affected by this. this not only affects subways and buses, but vehicle traffic as well. trucks can't get in, jobs are cancelled, business can't open, people can't get to work. it takes money out of other people's pocket, and that's what the TWU president is NOT considering. it's a slap in the face of people who work and live in and around the city and depend on public transportation. the 24% pay raise demand is greedy. the MTA needs to be focusing their surplus on cameras, security as well as employee pay and benefits, but standing at 24% is way too much. why shouldn't new employees have to contribute more to pension? some workers, blue or white collar, don't even get a pension benefit. so, my advice to the president of the TWU in NYC is to take the MTA's last deal. it's a good and fair deal and you'll have a contract in place. bring NYC back to normal for Christmas and stop this selfishness.

Doris Caparell

grandma isn't doing so well. it's like some kind of death watch now. not sure if she's coherant at the moment, she comes and goes. may be going on an 11 hour trip in the car to Simpsonville SC. hopefully not. I hope she pulls out of this. she is much loved.

20th Century Man - The Kinks

(I'd say this fits with the 21st century too)


This is the age of machinery,
A mechanical nightmare,
The wonderful world of technology,
Napalm hydrogen bombs biological warfare,

This is the twentieth century,
But too much aggravation
It’s the age of insanity,
What has become of the green pleasant fields of jerusalem.

Ain’t got no ambition,
I’m just disillusioned
I’m a twentieth century man but I don’t wanna be here.

My mama said she can’t understand me
She can’t see my motivation
Just give me some security,
I’m a paranoid schizoid product of the twentieth century.

You keep all your smart modern writers
Give me william shakespeare
You keep all your smart modern painters
I’ll take rembrandt, titian, da vinci and gainsborough,

Girl we gotta get out of here
We gotta find a solution
I’m a twentieth century man but I don’t want to die here.

I was born in a welfare state
Ruled by bureaucracy
Controlled by civil servants
And people dressed in grey
Got no privacy got no liberty
Cos the twentieth century people
Took it all away from me.

Don’t wanna get myself shot down
By some trigger happy policeman,
Gotta keep a hold on my sanity
I’m a twentieth century man but I don’t wanna die here.

My mama says she can’t understand me
She can’t see my motivation
Ain’t got no security,
I’m a twentieth century man but I don’t wanna be here.

This is the twentieth century
But too much aggravation
This is the edge of insanity
I’m a twentieth century man but I don’t wanna be here.

Christmas is almost here!

and thank God for that! I've spent a bazillion dollars on Overstock. I think I have eveyone covered. been to all of my company parties. maybe this last week I can actually enjoy some of the festivities. it's so stressful that it's difficult to enjoy everything. but hey, here's to good times! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

my quest

my quest for finding friends that aren't at work or on a message board has so far failed. I went to a dinner party last Sunday, with my gregarious husband who always knows how to talk to people. So, I left, thinking everything was cool, I had a good time. I had an allergy attack, so I had to take some sinus pills that made me kind of tired. Later last week, I told my husband to tell his friend who had the party, who he was also working with, that I had a good time and would like to hang out with 'the girls' sometime. apparently they have a gathering every Thursday. so, the answer my husband got from his friend, via his wife, was that I was 'kinda quiet', which I take to mean that I wasn't entertaining enough. or engaging enough. this really, really hurt my feelings. I spent the remainder of Saturday night, which is when I had this discussion with my husband, crying and could not stop. I went to bed at 9:00 because I knew I would just be sad all night long. I woke up sad, wondering 'what is wrong with me? why don't people like me?' I'm still pretty upset about it and just don't understand what I did wrong. was it because I'm a corporate manager and not an aspiring actor? now I have 2 corporate Christmas parties this week. I feel like I have nothing to offer. nothing to say that's worth a shit and corporate people are not 'my kind of people' anyway. I've always been the creative type and now I'm stuck in this position that I dont' want to be in. I still just feel really sad about the whole dinner party thing and don't know how I'm going to be able to go to another one with my husband without extreme anxiety.

what I've learned today

I've learned that my feelings of isolation are mostly my fault. that I'm quiet in social situations, which make me unapproachable.
this is a tough pill to swallow.
I had no idea.
and I've judged and turned down other opportunities for friendship.
so my lack of friendship is my own fault, mostly anyway.
I'm closed. introverted. hence the issue.

SNOW YAY!!!

Jersey & NYC are currently getting our first big snow of the season. it's beautiful and I currently love it!! snow is beautiful and makes the air turn quiet. it makes a dirty city look clean for a while. hooray for snow!

John Lennon

it's been 25 years since John was killed in front of his home. my heart is heavy when I remember that dreadful day. I was only 11, but it affected me in so many ways and still does. this morning on my Dell Jukebox, the first song that came up on shuffle was Come Together. this was the same song that was on my mom's alarm clock radio when she heard the news that morning. RIP John. xoxo

Fred Sanford

has a junkyard
and a friend named Grady
and a son named Lamont
who is really really really hot!