my quest

my quest for finding friends that aren't at work or on a message board has so far failed. I went to a dinner party last Sunday, with my gregarious husband who always knows how to talk to people. So, I left, thinking everything was cool, I had a good time. I had an allergy attack, so I had to take some sinus pills that made me kind of tired. Later last week, I told my husband to tell his friend who had the party, who he was also working with, that I had a good time and would like to hang out with 'the girls' sometime. apparently they have a gathering every Thursday. so, the answer my husband got from his friend, via his wife, was that I was 'kinda quiet', which I take to mean that I wasn't entertaining enough. or engaging enough. this really, really hurt my feelings. I spent the remainder of Saturday night, which is when I had this discussion with my husband, crying and could not stop. I went to bed at 9:00 because I knew I would just be sad all night long. I woke up sad, wondering 'what is wrong with me? why don't people like me?' I'm still pretty upset about it and just don't understand what I did wrong. was it because I'm a corporate manager and not an aspiring actor? now I have 2 corporate Christmas parties this week. I feel like I have nothing to offer. nothing to say that's worth a shit and corporate people are not 'my kind of people' anyway. I've always been the creative type and now I'm stuck in this position that I dont' want to be in. I still just feel really sad about the whole dinner party thing and don't know how I'm going to be able to go to another one with my husband without extreme anxiety.