in this city

hulking and overbearing
the push and the grind
into the city
pacing through the morning
passing as many as possible
gotta get there first
plunder throught the day
the push of papers and transmissions
checks and balances
gotta be first
gotta get it done

the work is never done

hard and fast
the day is over
rushing running home
pacing in motions
people stirring the emotions
the only desire
to be home and at rest
after rushing through the day
rushing the life away
in this city

distraction

a long grasp on my will
struggling to get away
I feel I'm being pulled
in a direction
in which peril
will come to face me
peril at my own hand
for not focusing
on the love I have

Basquiat

Saw the Basquiat exhibit at the
Brooklyn Museum today. It is
truly great and he was a
truly great artist. Such a
shame that he died so young.
My favorite is the collaboration with
Warhol: Zenith. Very cool. Was kind
of hoping the Amoco one would be there
too. I also loved the pieces that
were painted on doors and other
rough materials. His framing was
also very primitive and bold.
It is a terrific show and if
you are in NYC, you must go!
Goes on to June 5th.
http://www.basquiat.net/

Isolation

I feel pretty isolated in this city.
I have yet to make real friends in
the 3 years that I've lived here.
I have work friends and stuff,
but, all of the girls are younger
than me, except my boss.
She's only 4 months older. 'How
long is it going to take,' I often think.
At least I have my husband.
That's the most anyone could
ever need I guess. But, I can't
be with him 24/7. It made me
cry when someone mentioned
the word isolation in reference to
my situation. I want this fog to lift.

Sunflowers # 4

new garden

coming out

waiting for the warmest day
sifting through the remains of winter
pushing leaves and moving dirt
digging out of the hole
finding the end of the darkness
coming out of hibernation
coming out to thaw my darkened emotions

Sunflower # 3

Sunflower #2

This day

Today I have a new challenge. Dealing
with more competent, young people. I
must focus and cast away the destractions
that plague me.
It's hard because I crave escape; I'm addicted
to it.
So, I have to be hard too. Stay on the course and
not beat myself down with my vices.
It's easy for me to do. I do it every day. But no more.
Not with the poison gone. I have to perform whether I want to
or not. It has fallen to this.

My head is a radio station

This song will not leave me alone! Must excorcise it!

Don’t make me sad
Talking ’bout tomorrow
It’s not so bad
We were doing fine just then
You’ll move on up, you’ll move on out
And you won’t cry’cause your amateur hour is over
You’re only going where I’ve been
And you’ll see what I’ve seen
You’re no amateur - amateur
You know if someone likes your face
You’d be a fool to stay strictly amateur
It’s strictly for amateurs
The world could be a better place
If some of us could stay
Amateurs
There’s no more time
To think about the way ahead
Just miss one line
Fall over - you’ll be left for dead
Your heart will play no part except
When memories of your amateur hour take over
Then screw yourself into a ball
And keep it rolling on
You’re no amateur - amateur
You know if someone likes your face
You’d be a fool to stay strictly amateur
It’s strictly for amateurs
The world could be a better place
If some of us could stay
Amateurs
Don’t make me sad
It’s not so bad

song

This is probably my favorite PJ Harvey song.


Oyster pearl
You easy girls
You're flapping in, you're shouting
You're dead good, all the men say
Legs wide, hips swinging like a doorway

Easy
Easy
Easy

I'm ranting, I'm raving
I'm taking in just everything
You're giving me no leeway
I open once and you call me Devil's gateway

Easy
Easy
Easy

And I deserve it
I asked you for it
Have to admit it
We dress like tigers

Easy...Easy...And I deserve it...

I'm definitly Southern

NYC is a great place.
It's one tough place to live.
I was really naive to think
otherwise.

I am here

This is my blog. It will start out slow.
I am here, at this time, on this day. Whatever
I see, I will probably write about here.
I live in Jersey City, work in NYC and I see
a lot of shit.
Plus, there will be other stuff. Most of all,
this is for me. Thankyouverymuch

sunflower number one