black spot

there's a black spot in my brain
dark, deepest place one can get to
inside of the head
further into the things I don't
want to face about myself
beyond the mundane
polar opposite of the joy or any light
covered by the beligerent prank monkey
black anger and pitiless resolve
teatering on this edge
throw myself in front of a train
cut myself
express this darkness
things my hand won't pass through
the black spot throws me through the window
hurls things around the room
beats the door down
breaks my knuckles
when my fist hits the wall
and the pain doesn't matter
it's just other pain
covering the real pain
that's in the black spot